My version of the Colossus of Rhodes, the statue to the Greek sun god Helios that was destroyed in the earthquake of 226BC. 

Helios should have been the Greek god of Cringe. Genuinely. A colossal pain in the arse, he’d bore you to death with his questionable war stories, threaten your ongoing happiness with vicarious embarrassment when watching him stumble through his singer / songwriter phase and say horrendously inappropriate comments just to impress anyone in ear shot. 

He had a good heart but WHAT a bell end. Although he was the god of the sun, everything seemed darker, colder, creepier and weirdly somehow more corporate in his presence.