A gift for Hypnos. The God of Sleep. (And he’ll put you to sleep with his chat). Available in the Gods’ Gift shop. Mount Olympus (or through me). 

A one-way conversational unit and sticky little tidal wave of dull stories, propped up by a bar stool. A purveyor of useless but emphatic advice, opinions no one asked for and views on contemporary politics that would make your feet sweat. 

A numbing yet oddly energetic presence who makes everyone who enters the same pub immediately plan their exit and furtively ask in whispered tones ‘Who Put 50p in the Dickhead? A pub bore. Every pub has one.